P.L.E.A.S.E. Barney Stinson
This short video lets the spectator in on a well-kept secret throughout the years of this popular tv series. It has excellent vocabulary for our purposes, so, enjoy!
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- What does Barney do for a living?
- Can you describe his job, before seeing the video, and after?
- How does he describe ACTs?
- Why does he do what he does?
- What did he do before he moved into the corporative world?
- How did he get there?
- What do you do?
Kids, out of all the time we knew Barney, there was one question he would always answer the same way.
Seriously, what is it that you do?
Seriously, what do you do for a living?
Are you finally going to tell me exactly what your job is?
So naturally, this was a pretty big moment for us.
Well, what do you do for a living?
God, he’s not telling us. No more booze.
Not so fast Princess. I guess subtle clues and the bar tab are just two things you just don’t pick up. Because, I think he is telling us. Tell us more about this job.
Well, as you know, back in my hippy days, a businessman came into my coffee shop and told me that money was all that mattered and stole my girlfriend. That’s when I decided to become, AWESOME.
But I had no idea of how to break into the corporate world. So, hoping he wouldn’t recognize me, I went to the one person from whom I knew I could learn, everything.
Do we know each other bro?
We are all connected in Gaea’s great tapestry of, ehem, no, we don’t, bro.
Well, you went to MIT, pretty impressive.
I did get a perfect score on the ACTs.
Advanced Card Tricks.
Oh look buddy, you got a sweet resume, but we don’t have any openings you’re qualified for.
They set me up. It was a trap. I can swear.
We have one opening you’d be perfect for.
Great, what do I do?
PLEASE. Provide Legal Exculpation and Sign Everything.
Just show up every day and scrub your name on a bunch of documents and we’ll pay you sixteen craploads a year. Please sign the contract. I’ll give you time to think about it.
17 seconds later.
I’ll take it.
Come on. Did you even read this before signing it?
HA, you’re hired.
Odd fist clap.
We’ll work on that.
Wait, that’s your job?
You sign sketchy legally binding documents that could implicate you for God knows what?
Best job ever, right?
Sweetie. You’re being stupid. The company is setting you up as their fall guy for all of their illegal activities.
No, you guys are being stupid, especially Ted.
What? I didn’t say anything.
And then kids, Barney revealed to us his master plan. It all went down a few months after the wedding.
Two months later.
Hey Greg, I know you’re busy but FYI, I’ve been colluding with the feds. They know everything and they are on their way up right now to shut down this division and arrest you. Door closed or…
What? Why would you do that?
Oh, gosh. Countless moral reasons could have applied, but this is pretty much revenge for stealing my girlfriend. See. That day I vowed I would do anything in my power to track you down, gain your trust, and then destroy you.
Who are you?
Who am I? Just a guy who served you coffee once. Peace out loser.
Son of a bitch. I’ll destroy you. Get your hands off me.